Will things get better?

Today I am turning 31. Life is good, I feel grateful and content. But just one year ago, when I turned 30, I was in a very different place. Life felt miserable, and waking up each morning was a struggle.

One year ago today

A year ago, I had a job that I didn't enjoy. I felt I shouldn't complain because of the salary, but those "golden handcuffs" left me feeling trapped. I kept waiting for things to improve, but they never did.

The longer I stayed, the more I resented my life. I disengaged from work, skipping meetings and social events. I put in the bare minimum effort at work.

On June 20th, 2023, my company had massive layoffs. It was awful seeing colleagues lose their jobs. I felt guilty that I still had mine, despite hating it. That's when it hit me: I secretly wished I had been let go, just to have an excuse to leave.

No matter how I tried to spin it, I would never enjoy that job. I hated being there. Hate is a strong word, but I feel that it is the appropriate word to describe how I felt.

I hated my job.

Things won't always get better

After reflecting on things, I've understood that it's okay to let go. In life, we often hold onto hope and overlook the heavier burden of the negatives. It took a while for me to realise that the relationship was toxic, and leaving was the best answer.

Of course, quitting didn't magically fix everything overnight. It was just the first step in a longer journey.

Looking back, I now see how miserable I was. I didn't enjoy life. I didn't even want to sleep because I didn't want to wake up to go to work the next morning.

One year ago, life was terrible. Now, life is good. And that transformation all started with giving myself permission to walk away from a toxic job.

The lesson? It's okay to leave. It's okay to prioritize your wellbeing over a paycheck. Things won't always get better on their own - sometimes we have to take that leap of faith.

One year ago, my life was shit. Now, I feel happy and content. Life is good.

I hope you find this insightful. Remember:

It's not going to be easy,
But it's not impossible.

Your friend,
Brian