The things you learn when you lose someone

Life has a peculiar way of teaching us about loss.

When my grandpa passed away, I didn't know how to feel. He had already forgotten names and faces, so I felt like I didn't really know him. For me, life kept going like nothing changed. But through my dad's eyes, I witnessed a different kind of grief.

My dad tried to look strong, but one day, he told me how sad he really was. He wasn't sad because his dad passed away - he knew that would happen someday.

He was sad because he didn't talk to his father enough, and he didn't make enough memories with him at the end. He forgot that time was running out.

He was sad because he had regrets.

The train of life

I often think of life as a long train journey.

We start with a full car—parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents all aboard. In our youth, we were consumed by our adventures, running up and down the carriages, lost in the excitement of the journey.

Meanwhile, our elders rest quietly at the end of the car, watching us with patient smiles.

But here's the thing about this journey - people get off at different stations. Sometimes, we're prepared for these goodbyes. We've spent time together and created memories, and when their stop comes, we can wave farewell with hearts full of shared moments.

But sometimes it's not that easy. Sometimes, we're too busy with our own things, too busy taking care of our own problems. We forget to spend time with them. We don't get to say goodbye.

Then, suddenly, we notice them standing on a distant platform, their silhouette growing smaller as our train pushes forward. There is no chance for a proper goodbye, no final words exchanged. By the time we notice, they are gone.

"One day" will come

The hardest truth isn't about the departure itself—it's about realizing what we could have done differently.

The conversations we could have had, the stories we could have shared, the bonds we could have strengthened. The train of life moves only forward, and each station passed is a moment we can never revisit.

This is why we must remember to pause our journey occasionally to sit with those who watch us from the end of the car—those people who care about us and those we care for.

Because someday, their station will come, and all we'll have left are the memories we chose to make - or the ones we wish we had.

Maybe it's time to make that phone call.

I hope you find this insightful. Remember:

It's not going to be easy,
But it's not impossible.

Your friend,
Brian.